©ræwbyddet

2003-05-27T18:05:00.000-07:00

My candle burns at both ends It will not last the night But ah my foes and oh my friends It gives a lovely light. - Roald Dahl -

2003-05-18T22:15:00.000-07:00

"Dear book, this is another day in my life. A life is like a book. A book is like a box. A box has six sides. Inside and outside, so, how do you get to what's inside? How do you get what's inside, out? Once upon a time, there lived a very pretty girl, who lived in a beautiful box, and everybody loved her." "life and death. energy and peace. if i stopped today, it was still worth it. even the

2003-05-17T03:37:00.000-07:00

O wad some Pow'r the giftie gie us To see oursels as others see us! It wad frae mony a blunder free us, And foolish notion. - To a Louse, Robert Burns - i started this under the influence of someone, and to me.. it is only fair i end it because ive decided to run away again. pray i never come back if you pray. furious angels cant bring me back to you because they wont find me in the first place.

2003-05-15T02:23:00.000-07:00

it must be quite a thrill in some way to have children and watch them grow up right in front of you, a creature that used to be so small and helpless.. finally independent and probably nothing close to what you imagined. kinda like the freaking musical sims family my siblings installed on my pc. dont you love using certain things against people? it could be a particular peculiarity about them

2003-05-14T08:30:00.000-07:00

"Frottage" is anonymous furtive sexual contact with a victim in a crowd. there are some things you get addicted to; which you think you could never undo. how does it happen? the same way a smoker snubs out a cigarette i guess. though it isnt possible to have a cigarette snub the smoker out in return. perhaps in an alternate universe. i dont know how to confirm my suspicions that someone is

2003-05-13T08:39:00.000-07:00

belated & beat i got home about an hour ago after a day as exhausting as the survivor 6 finale. paid the remaining cost of my new footwear and complained to the point of ah weng promising to buy me a house, a little tight around the middle even though i took a 7 and a half. they look very unique though. like i need the extra dose of standing out in the crowd. sometimes i feel evil when

2003-05-11T17:38:00.000-07:00

the odds of oddities as much as i try to avoid it, my ants wont let me escape the sensation of burdenism. forgoing tv programmes with only myself to blame, i had worked out a plan that would aid me in wasting as much time as possible. then at the bus stop an acquaintance spots me and kindly gives me the ride i was asking for, though i expected one at a much later time, and drops me off at my

2003-05-10T10:29:00.000-07:00

the Devil went down to Georgia back to my little box, playing my depressing songs, spent some time with gollum. he found me a doggy porn video, along with jeoparodies and a primus gem. its sort of weird to have juin and sven calling me up just to say hi and what not, as though we have graduated and are never going to bum around on campus anymore. some things you can choose to miss or not miss,

2003-05-09T17:56:00.000-07:00

coffee minus whitener scar tissue is playing on pyans pc, we just got back in from the smoking port. im so glad the headache from last night is finally gone. i might be overdosing on panadol but who cares. my khaki skirt has mildew spots all over it and this is only the second freaking time im wearing it. i guess its unavoidable with the damp conditions of travelling i have to put up with daily.

2003-05-08T19:42:00.000-07:00

the Malebolge however did i get myself that far down. i think i deserve limbo. there cant possibly be anyone left who qualifies for purgatory. second day of freezing. i left out a number of incidents from tuesday, for instance the darker more agressive of my two puyus jumped out of the tank and was waddling, skipping oh i dont know whatever their crawling motion is called all over my living room

2003-05-07T23:51:00.000-07:00

Sejuk it may sound abnormal but ive been walking around the office with a glass of hot water from the pantry between both hands for most of the morning. its somewhat a lot colder in here today. gives me urges to ask for hugs. hmm. no im not a touchy feely person, any intimate physical contact with other human beings requires too much effort on my part. we have to be at the bus stop by 6am in

2003-05-06T23:44:00.000-07:00

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!Here is how you matched up against all the levels:LevelScorePurgatory (Repenting Believers)Very LowLevel 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)LowLevel 2 (Lustful)HighLevel 3 (Gluttonous)ModerateLevel 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)LowLevel 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)HighLevel 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)LowLevel 7 (

2003-05-05T21:50:00.000-07:00

Run then. leave him to his demons he says. it just hit me that it could mean 'fuck off' in a polite way. im in denial. im lying to myself that he loves me as much as he used to, hopefully.. more. i trick myself into thinking he does at all in the first place. i keep it alive by feeding off memories of persistent pursuit. judging by the way we got off the wrong foot, and the fact noone gets in

2003-05-04T23:45:00.000-07:00

wet laundry does not dry with the rain. first time im making a post from the office. we got our very own company email accounts today, it feels like such a long term commitment now. sitting in separate cubicles does not seem to help us from keeping out of trouble. sheral says hie to everyone who reads this blog. even though technically its not a blog. lol. im being an annoying smartass again.

2003-05-04T03:47:00.000-07:00

youth & the infinite carelessness an ongoing issue from four days back returns. not in a million years had i thought chucky would get here and read the demeaning perception i had of his girlfriend. or should i say ex-girlfriend. it felt crappy. it still does. i should have turned off the computer and stayed asleep.. instead of letting unknown mystics wake me up just a little while after those

2003-05-03T03:35:00.000-07:00

{intrapersonal speech bubbles} as i was pegging my laundry to be exposed to what little sunlight is left of today, i witnessed a man having a conversation with a bird. he whistled in reply to the birds chirps and it didnt seem to end. where it was quiet and deserted is now bustling with activity, as the new semester starts monday and my feet are being killed off slowly by pretty shoes. nocturnal

2003-05-01T00:33:00.000-07:00

You know, you don't have to look like everybody else to be acceptable and to feel acceptable. - Fred Rogers, Mister Rogers' Neighborhood - ive always had a crush on this thing called confidence. never really had it, too much doubt surfaces. its scary how my mind plays alternate scenes of what might have been, instead of what is and was. maybe this is the ultimate paranoia. why do we worry about

2003-04-29T10:57:00.000-07:00

Relationships i have this friend who shares the same surname as i do, shes rather petite and wed regard each other as cousins due to many similarities family-wise. i was never really close to her however, we had an okay friendship, sometimes she tells me things i dont ask to know, mainly because i do however know the protagonists in her tale. she has this boyfriend whom we used to eye in

2003-04-29T06:42:00.000-07:00

hou leng aa.. got off the phone with mi, which was an esteem booster after finding out my aunt has been containing her enthusiasm about how i dressed for my first interview. lol. yes apparently i have never looked so good in my entire life.. and now im all ready to be soked in the office. riiiight la. lets hope the guy from kdu will be cute. i love those gray slacks. they hide my saddle bags *

2003-04-28T08:52:00.000-07:00

She kept asking me to tell her i love her, and we both knew why. it was a quarter past three when sheral informed me about the vacancy where she is going to start work. i called and talked to the person in charge and we set an appointment for tomorrow. actually she more like pestered the guy and stuff.. stuff noone needs to know about *ahem* surfing through the company website however i

2003-04-27T08:49:00.000-07:00

You're the FONT tag- some people ignore you, some people adore you. When you like someone, you like them a lot, but when you don't like them- watch out. what a coincidence. my entire blog is verdana. i think. got this from her last night but was too brain dead to make a post. you know you smoke too much when your lungs hurt. i still havent done the stuff i need to do for the technical test.

2003-04-26T02:32:00.000-07:00

¼ pound of beef. the quarter pounder is.. for lack of better words; beefy. finally after weeks of craving for mcdonalds, i had the junk for lunch. it wasnt as satisfying as i thought it would be. the french fries didnt get me overjoyed either. the food chain is like that i guess, if you dont end up eaten, you die of sickness or old age or accidents anyway. i used to be one of those people who

2003-04-25T07:59:00.000-07:00

He asked, "Do you play street soccer?" i gather my first experience with new things do not turn out normal most of the time. judging by a question like that in a job interview, my ship barely touched the tip of the iceberg. nasty. i dont know if i want to remember all this. 3 interviewers for over an hour. as if i want to work at their stupid company forever. its just three months ok? and if

2003-04-24T08:49:00.000-07:00

C is for Cuddly three days more or less since the last post, possibly the longest ive been away. other than the traumatizing two day pocket burning events, i cant quite think straight. the bottom two of my wisdom teeth are emerging, couldnt eat without wincing but that was monday. unless i am dehydrated it doesnt make so much of a fuss. i left home on tuesday because i needed professional help,

2003-04-20T14:55:00.000-07:00

Ice used to tell me how Fluffy reacts towards catnip; running around all hyped up to the extent of bouncing off walls. damn i feel like that right now. if it were raining any heavier, id probably go get drenched for no reason i can think of. never ever consume excessive amounts of -ines that you know will do bad bad things when you should be sleeping. rem is so intense i cant spare time to blink.

2003-04-20T00:21:00.000-07:00

forwarded e-mail from people i do not know In this life I'm a woman. In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear. When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that. Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too. When you're a girl bear

2003-04-20T00:01:00.000-07:00

If you dont stretch, you wont pull some irony about expectations and the truth about muscles, i suppose. yesterday was rather long and quiet, it was the beloved sultans birthday and apparently there should have been a one day sales. not that i noticed anything other than the crowd. after all it was saturday. i was in the midst of catching up with my childhood friend, while changing her atm card

2003-04-18T13:22:00.000-07:00

A Hard Life : a film by Giuliano my dog-bitten hair scented with air pollutants, belly filled to the brim with food & beverage, i sit here in a cotton nightie printed with little flowers all over, without a clue what to do after watching the bulletproof monk. the musky smell of my beloved blankie, no doubt has been sitting in storage with mothballs all this while and a bolster. i used to love

2003-04-17T12:43:00.000-07:00

minestrone soup beats england clam chowder anytime. it seems like budget food to me, consisting of red beans, the darker sort of red beans, seashell shaped pasta, small chunks of potatoes, peas and carrots. stuff like that. i think i diluted it too much to taste the real tanginess of it, especially since i split one can of soup into two meals. its interesting though. and nice with bread and

2003-04-16T13:59:00.000-07:00

The bright side of insomnia specks of shining sand decorated the vast stretch of emptiness beyond reach. many things entice from afar but appear no less ordinary up close. masks deceive eyes that wander from where they should be glued. thoughts dive into dark abysses with no hope of return. everything is bleak, perception is clouded. a shoal of recherche forms float by.. leisurely taking their

2003-04-16T06:45:00.000-07:00

Impia tortorum longas hic turba furores Sanguinis innocui, non satiata, aluit. Sospite nunc patria, fracto nunc funeris antro, Mors ubi dira fuit vita salusque patent. Latin to English translation: The impious crowd, not satisfied, here nourishes long furies on innocent blood. Sustain now, fatherland, the cave of death having been broken. Where death was fierce, life and salvation are manifest.

2003-04-15T05:52:00.000-07:00

Some say you're a weed, some say you're not. But you look great as a chain. yea, i still take the time to do these silly quizzes. i guess i am just a weed. before i go drench my lungs with more british american tobacco group products, i might as well pretend to be sober and say something about today. im sad. in every way possible. i have decided to let go of kaninchen, the ribenaberry.

2003-04-13T14:21:00.000-07:00

Motion Picture Soundtrack White wine and sleeping pills Help me get back to your arms Cheap sex and sad films Help me get where I belong I think you're crazy, maybe I think you're crazy, maybe Stop sending letters Letters always get burned It's not like the movies They fed us on little white lies I think you're crazy, maybe I think you're crazy, maybe I will see you in the next life

2003-04-13T05:53:00.000-07:00

"Behind Doors" raewbyddet (1:10:26 AM): why din tellllll raewbyddet (1:10:30 AM): whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy raewbyddet (1:10:47 AM): at least couldve dont something! nocpleasure (1:11:10 AM): har.. we have done alot yesterday morning nocpleasure (1:11:12 AM): raewbyddet (1:11:54 AM): thats got nothing birthday-ish about it! nocpleasure (1:12:11 AM): well i did enjoy it alot nocpleasure (1:12:13 AM):

2003-04-12T01:24:00.000-07:00

You were born with "it". You have the look, the sex appeal, the charisma. You ooze it. While wannabes end up looking like freaks, you look great simply by being yourself. Your colour: Grey Green. Here's your must-have "it" item of the year:Nokia 7210 It might change your life! but it doesnt have an integrated camera! i have officially gone nokia crazy for a while, what more since i clicked around

2003-04-10T11:04:00.000-07:00

Morning smiles like the face of a newborn child, innocent, unknowing. Winter's end promises of a long lost friend. Speaks to me of comfort Wind in time rapes the flower trembling on the vine and nothing yields to shelter from above. They say temptation will destroy our love. but I fear I have nothing to give. I have so much to lose here in this lonely place. Tangled up in your embrace there's

2003-04-10T03:36:00.000-07:00

Ribenaberry has struck Invader Grundo04 for 10 points.Attack Str. BonusWeapon BonusRoll (1-20)Total351927 Draco Grundo04 Defence:17Damage:10Draco Grundo04 Health: -4Ribenaberry has saved an Invader!You defeated an Invader army! Well done! You are now a Stablehand II!The villagers give you 18 neopoints (6 np per village) as a sign of thanks for coming to their rescue.CONGRATULATIONS!!! You

2003-04-09T22:03:00.000-07:00

the Heimlich maneuver i have a knot in my stomache. i guess you could call it the ugly version of having butterflies in your gut. ive let myself be swept away by an emotional whirlwind again. again and again and again. is there really so little hope for me that i choose to resort to this. if yes, why does it have to be this way. if no, why do i still have it this way. indeed i am the feeble mind

2003-04-09T02:11:00.000-07:00

Insomniac i had thought of spending some quality time tweaking, with html that is. either that or the curriculum vitae i wrote a year ago. i can feel both ways about the fact i havent sent out any applications yet and 92% of my batch has not handed in their confirmation letters. as gollum puts it, i need help. with my headaches. migraines. whatever you want to call them. ive been getting them

2003-04-08T04:25:00.000-07:00

Ribenaberry (4:22 PM) : i feel like a ribenaberry me (4:22 PM) : hahahaahahahah! me (4:23 PM) : why do you feel like a ribena berry? Ribenaberry (4:23 PM) : i dunno must be the happy noises they make me (4:24 PM) : are you making happy noises? lol me (4:24 PM) : i never noticed ribena berries make happy noises o_o Ribenaberry (4:25 PM) : lol me (4:25 PM) : ribena berry <3 Ribenaberry (4:

2003-04-07T08:41:00.000-07:00

fortune-telling it was ching ming two days ago, damn my examinations or i would have went back to pai san, directly translated as 'pray mountain'. i guess that phrase comes from the fact traditional chinese graveyards for the 'wealthier' folks resemble a shrine beyond the typical gravestone, and these burial grounds are found on vast hilly locations. i always had the impression if this tradition

2003-04-06T00:25:00.000-08:00

Shneiderman vs. Shakespeare Full thirty times hath Phoebus' cart gone round Neptune's salt wash and Tellus' orbed ground, And thirty dozen moons with borrowed sheen About the world have time twelve thirties been, Since love our hearts, and Hymen did our hands, Unite communal in most sacred bands. pretending this hardcover copy of 'Designing the User Interface' is a page-turner, my eyes were

2003-04-04T20:50:00.000-08:00

I would not exchange the sorrows of my heart for the joys of the multitude. And I would not have the tears that sadness makes to flow from my every part to turn into laughter. I would that my life remain a tear and a smile. A tear to purify my heart and give me understanding of life's secrets and hidden things. A smile to draw me nigh to the sons of my kind and be a symbol of my glorification to

2003-04-04T04:04:00.000-08:00

3 jam lumbering home, tiny brown crickets hopped anxiously to get out of my way. i can only imagine what my heavy feet must seem like from their point of view. despite the days tediously slow events, i enjoyed the walk back. it was somehow liberating, a sign that other than three more written exams to go.. i have one year left to graduation. not that i have ambitious plans for when that time

2003-04-03T00:50:00.000-08:00

Nothing helps scenery like ham and eggs. - Mark Twain - you know youve been around neopia for a long time if you still remember the game switcharoo like hottie and me. it was easy to play with high rewards. damn the current situation of inflation. regarding the quote above, i made the mortal mistake of tagging along after gollum to get his hair cut at dengkil yesterday. simply because i wanted

2003-04-01T23:50:00.000-08:00

Fact and Fancy by H. P. Lovecraft (February 1917) How dull the wretch, whose philosophic mind Disdains the pleasures of fantastic kind; Whose prosy thoughts the joys of life exclude, And wreck the solace of the poet's mood! Young Zeno, practis'd in the Stoic's art, Rejects the language of the glowing heart; Dissolves sweet Nature to a mess of laws; Condemns th' effect whilst looking for

2003-04-01T04:53:00.000-08:00

Sorry, publishing is temporarily unavailable. [why?] gollum saw this on 3dtotal.com and thought i would adore it as i did the chubbchubbs. not as much, it reminds me of the sheep in wallace and gromit, with a deutsch touch, cant say i dont like it, if it were slightly slouched with glasses id mistaken it for me. the wool can be the dust and cobwebs i have accumulated after the lengthy period of

2003-03-30T23:12:00.000-08:00

Conscious self Overall self Take Free Enneagram Test i never found the results on this enneagram test to my liking, but this time it sort of passed my approval. and hey it looks pretty nifty on my background ja? and no mean type does not mean meanie-mean, its average-mean.. though i have been weighing the seriousness of me turning out as an unlikeable entity, a lot of people have been using

2003-03-30T13:02:00.000-08:00

Read Me something from the past came up while i was chatting with some guy who keeps hitting on me (im not serious). i said my weekly sunday television series was getting monotonous and somehow the topic drifted to sex being a form of entertainment. is it? kill two birds with one stone, since its definitely exercise as well. i was in the midst of composing my previous post then so when asked

2003-03-30T07:46:00.000-08:00

Get the habit of work and quit being an "inspirational" author -- which is merely another name for a loafer. - Edgar Rice Burroughs - if i had balls, that quote would kick me squarely right there. i am back to sleeping round the clock, neglecting important tasks still waiting to be done. startled from sleep by a most unexpected phonecall, i squinted at the number on the screen with vague

2003-03-29T07:56:00.000-08:00

Congratulations! Pyriel now has increased Level!!! *** SUPER BONUS - You went up 3 points!! *** winning 10,000np on the wheel comes a close second to the perks of the game. training is a real chore, but it will all be worth it when the time comes to kick ass in the coming battle. i had originally planned for an outdoor saturday, but given the uncooperative crowd i have to work with, ended up

2003-03-28T06:49:00.000-08:00

i walked down the street and i dont give a damn, the people they stare and they ask who i am, & if by chance i should run over a cat, i can pay for the damage if ever so bad. beetlegun: they do not see what lies ahead when sun has failed the moon is dead spared some time to sulk in front of the idiot box watching the quiet american. thought about many bad things and felt urges to make hasty

2003-03-26T11:42:00.000-08:00

whoa i passed out. i thought id go lie down for a bit to let some blood flow to the head, ended up dead for the next 5 hours or so. i didnt even finish the previous entry, but clicked publish when i got up. body is starting to complain about my crash exercising + weight lifting throughout the past few days. certain aches can be very enjoyable. back to ramblings of the expo, one girl cried cuz she

2003-03-26T09:43:00.000-08:00

Exposition yesterday was one bad thing after another, being the last day before final project submission deadlines, flipped an inch long nail against its natural direction of growth whilst struggling with my brand new glue gun, pushing my stamina to the limits with uphill cycling at noon, promising myself never to beg for anything or rely too much on anyone. i have a pair of legs and two hands.

2003-03-24T04:23:00.000-08:00

N†ðßë (2:34 PM) : ich lerne zusatzübungen :D was machst du? Friesengeist (2:35 PM) : ich esse kartoffelchips ^^ N†ðßë (2:35 PM) : wow i understood that. ur eating potato chips. hahahaha Friesengeist (2:36 PM) : yesss :] N†ðßë (2:38 PM) : ich bin intelligent!! *lächelt* Friesengeist (2:38 PM) : haha, absolut ^^ thats my friend lasse. hes an elf from kiel. he likes mustard with his

2003-03-23T04:40:00.000-08:00

ANTS marching Optimizing Your Brain: Kill the ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts); interesting short article i received from one of the few newsletter subscriptions that escaped cancellation. somehow when friends or people you know tell you the same things, it becomes unnaturally 'asiawork'ed, but reading it with mentions of doctors and national health institutes makes it easier to accept the

2003-03-22T01:51:00.000-08:00

liebe Kopfschmerzen, ich hasse dich. i had bak kut teh for lunch. it wasnt bad, but it wasnt great either. there was like what.. three small pieces of pig intestines? i burned my tongue. siu dou lei and lat dou lei are pretty different. i make errors while speaking cantonese mainly because i translate it from english. i felt manipulative for inviting people to go eat solely for the purpose of

2003-03-21T03:07:00.000-08:00

weinen ~ i broke down so bad just now. still am breaking actually. i cant talk when im really upset. my throat gets knotted and my eyes flood. so i end up choking. sooner or later i cant breathe either. i hate this :( i hate it when its not my fault but you make it seem like it is anyway. white little notes with Sorry! on them do not remedy the situation at all. i was supposed to go back, it was

2003-03-20T05:29:00.000-08:00

Error 507:Unable to contact file transfer service (server:page) obsessive to the extent of intolerable errors. only paid users get tech support. free users get wired bras for support. impatiently trying and retrying to overcome Error 203:java.lang.NumberFormatException, i learned what is an ampersand while displaying extraordinarily poor anger management skills. at least i have gotten smart from

2003-03-19T05:32:00.000-08:00

Subdued the nightlife for me would probably be zoning off whilst looking out the window. nothing special. then i start to notice things i never noticed before. the white painted arrows on the tar road. turn left, go straight or turn right. my eyes follow the road and what do they come upon; crossroads. the thing is those arrows led off to different paths before the crossroads, of course the

2003-03-18T00:34:00.000-08:00

He who is only wise lives a sad life. - Voltaire - staring at cigarette smoke, watching it stream upwards almost in a straight line.. after a short distance however, it bursts into individual swirls and ribbons. despite the air being dead still. explain that. it keeps going heaven bound.. but it isnt long before it dodges in wisps and disappears into thin air. someone suggested that i should go

2003-03-16T10:40:00.000-08:00

its been a long time since i got a letter. back when cucciolo was still around for me to lean on, he would write every other day. then it became every other week, and every other month.. right now id be so glad to even hear from him once a year. i miss him. i miss the way he dotes on me. no i miss him more. sigh ;_; call it an excuse but i feel so miserable that i dont get letters anymore.

2003-03-14T06:48:00.000-08:00

no need to PANGKOR LIAO. those five words put me in a state of confusion, as i was already midway towards my destination, further exchange of smses and a phone call confirmed that project shanghai had been given a majority voting to be cancelled. for some reason rm75 was a lot of money to cover only transportation and lodging, so now we find ourselves in extreme isolation of eachs own work. as

2003-03-12T12:47:00.000-08:00

wokey, i think its supposed to be spelt lembab. d'oh.. like i needed to prove that point. i had two free almond snicker bars *munchies* from gollum, not sure why im craving chocolate suddenly. my nap did plenty to rejuvenate me, im addicted to last night by the strokes, static x - im with stupid and rob zombie all over again. i have an ah lian profile on my phone featuring the ringtone wern shen

2003-03-12T02:06:00.001-08:00

Lembap. one of the first memorable words to slap me out of sleepless zombie mode this morning. project shanghai has been postponed to the coming week instead. a blessing in disguise? nah, in the brief hour i passed out, i had already lived through the torture and had it over and done with.. but noo.. i have to wake up and live it all over again as though im in some sort of parallel dimension. i

2003-03-10T13:12:00.000-08:00

The Space Between my eyeballs are straining out of their sockets. i spend ample more time on the computer than doing anything else (even sleeping!) and there are signs of evolution on me already. i sit on my blue ikea folding chair with my legs tucked beneath me and my hand constantly pushing the bulk of what my mouse is around, parts of me exposed to constant pressure and friction are becoming

2003-03-09T14:12:00.000-08:00

You are a Slug! Call yourself an animal? - you're about as exciting as lump of cheese. Oh dear. You need to inject some passion into your performance, some zing into your zang. Start practicing, buy a manual, buy a doll - you need something, anything to liven it up a bit between the sheets. omfg. i just flunked an animal sex quiz. nooooooo... i need sleep.

2003-03-09T07:40:00.000-08:00

Stripped i think im suffering from more than just writers block. what i really need is someone to kick start my engine cuz it died sometime back when i wasnt looking. argh. why is it always so much easier to go downhill? okay lets think happy thoughts now, lookit my page! i finally have a decent (if not dull) background which i managed to legally be granted the kind favour of having it hosted by

2003-03-08T02:28:00.000-08:00

12:34 courtesy of 3315 "Hi im 29 years male engineer in kl..nice look..arabian race..i got you details from icq mind to be friends?" considering i got that on sms, its pretty freaky. if he looks anything as good as some of these doe-eyed international students here, ill be damned that i didnt reply him. everyones moving sites and getting hosted these days, i never got an offer ever, have no idea

2003-03-07T05:44:00.000-08:00

Silence hides nothing. Words conceal. - August Strindberg - right as rain. wrong as ? for many a day without any thirst quenching for the parched earth, it rained today. for a meager five to ten minutes. oh help us all, we are evaporating into the atmosphere and getting lost in space. moments are so important to me, and yet these are the things i keep forgetting to put down.. resorting instead

2003-03-06T05:50:00.000-08:00

being sad takes a lot less effort compared to being happy. as long as you dont cry. the weather has gone mad, bringing my poor skin face to face with extremely bad conditions, there are more bumps than ever on my forehead :( i really really want to be two again, so i can sulk and throw a tantrum to express the horrible discomfort of living too damn near the equator, i believe this heat could only

2003-03-05T04:36:00.000-08:00

squashing cockroaches releases/scatters their eggs meaning you aid their reproduction everytime you step on one. thats what the lead singer of damn dirty ape thinks. and gollum believed it. gee. the sun has set completely by now and im cloaked in darkness. (note to self: find 9v battery to test out assembled "mosquito scream" electronic hobby kit) i smell smoke in the air, reminds me of the

2003-03-03T10:16:00.000-08:00

i like holidays. it means i can waste the day away doing nothing at all. while a rolling stone gathers no moss, i am at a stand still and watching the tedious process of a silky spider web being spun out of an arachnids spinneret, occupying the corners of my mind. a thin carpet of dark green fungus also makes an appearance in patches, wouldnt want it to look like the poshy golf course grass..

2003-03-02T12:21:00.000-08:00

the spaghetti incident on top of spaghetti all covered with cheese i lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed it rolled off the table and onto the floor and then my poor meatball rolled out of the door it rolled thru the garden and under a bush and then my poor meatball was nothing but mush. from today onwards, the kitchen is going to be utilized more often. were expecting, tom yam, chu tou

2003-03-02T00:29:00.000-08:00

31.25 % My weblog owns 31.25 % of me. Does your weblog own you? before i start raving over a new infatuation, i would like to discourage everyone from watching solaris. i fell asleep repeatedly throughout (maybe because i was lying on my bed) but still, how slow and low budget can an outer space film get? this reminds me of event horizon, and that wouldve been a class A compared to this. i guess

2003-02-28T11:10:00.000-08:00

350w for everything plugged into a CPU. including the monitor. some programmer didnt tell me that. instead he said my optical mouse would use an amount of electricity that is negligible. that programmer also went straight to pluto instead of mars. i was stupid enough to try pointing the optical mouse light emitting diode into my eye. ouch. [sixthseal.com's fault] im drugged sleepy right now.

2003-02-28T02:05:00.000-08:00

who is it that got here from www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&q=joel%5Fkyle%40hotmail%2Ecom? please own up and save me the false hope. this has such a haunting effect on me, somewhere in the back of my bloated head.. almost bursting and begging to be deflated. mmm.. crunchy fried squid is being tossed around on the waves of my digestive juices. my memory is running out of space or

2003-02-27T04:34:00.000-08:00

Es ist wolkig i have regained faith in the german language. even though my pronunciation still sucks, ive realized i recognize a lot of what has been taught and can understand simple passages related to previous lessons. juhuu! but i cant write it on my own, german conjugates and gender obsessions are intimidating. they also mean you can write a sentence that means a world of difference to what

2003-02-26T04:36:00.000-08:00

yesterday. i couldnt get up. its oft a bad sign for me when the body overrides the mind and i have to set more than one alarm clock to get myself remotely out of bed. i spent rm145 on a slim hardcover big picture book. i couldve spent less on fatter books with more pictures but i passed on the starck. idsa approved sounds so much more professional. thats my reason for it being almost twice as

2003-02-24T11:37:00.000-08:00

If I Turn and Run. my eyelids are heavy. the day was long and dreary after i got the quack diagnosis of my mind and was directly told to better myself, my quality of life with some getting physical involved leaving me bruised. and a short-lived sore. i was on the verge of tears because they wouldnt leave me alone. people and their expectations of you. it seemed like i had made many wrong choices

2003-02-23T19:00:00.000-08:00

racing against rain that could pour any time, the dried oval leaves dancing in the wind joining my pace simulating a sound almost similar to falling drops of rain as they hurriedly rolled over the ground like tiny tumbleweed. the wind is so violent it pushes those heavy metal gates to a forbidden area open, as i happen to walk by. mere coincidence? yesterday was the final day of our interfaculty

2003-02-22T05:10:00.000-08:00

from blueberry to lemon to robot, getting infected with neomonia. all in a days work i guess. i got caught on the way to pay my internet fees by one of three monkeys and they followed me home, ransacked the place, took selected vcds, muruku and curiously devoured a freshly opened airtight bag of ba kua, which they concluded was similar to beef jerky, took the remains back to their almighty leader

2003-02-21T00:33:00.000-08:00

the first half of adaptation. was wonderful. and there is nothing more i can say about it that hasnt already been mentioned here. what was originally set to be a movie about flowers mutated into everything held taboo for this particular screenplay, nevertheless i would still consider that nature was the protagonist and there was enough footage and talk about plants to keep me a happy viewer. the

2003-02-20T04:42:00.000-08:00

Guess what's in my hand? * ( ' ''''() * *(''( 'o', ) stars ('')('')(,,) my childhood friend caught them especially for me. haha. she doesnt remember what date i was born on either. but it was a very sweet note, i appreciate it despite the fact she sent it at 6:09:12 which is an odd time. ah i envy her, a few years back she told me that if she died then, it wouldnt matter because she

2003-02-19T06:36:00.000-08:00

Aquarius is the sign most likely to forget about sex entirely. ~FakePlasticTrees~ says: u nie kekadang kinky jugak eh damnit i forgot about the radiohead cd. now i wont get to loop fake plastic trees all night long. i have a headache from reading my surname repeatedly on a couple of badly photostated papers stapled together to make a mid-term exam book. i never could study more than a day

2003-02-18T01:10:00.000-08:00

kuey kak with egg and kiwi sai mylo the needle tip of the empty syringe pressed firmly against the opposite of my elbow (i heard once it was called krelbow in a sitcom but that sounds like a fib). i cant believe i paid 13 bucks to let a strange man do this to me. it stung slightly when my skin broke and the vacuum tube sucked dark blood right out of my vein, my gaze had froze on the vein itself,

2003-02-17T07:49:00.000-08:00

The earth laughs in flowers. - Ralph Waldo Emerson - happy birthday to me. as he so humbly wrote without any sign of dissatisfaction. i admire that to the extent of seeing myself as an awful whiny brat. haha. its not an exaggeration to say this was one of the worst days i have had, and so it was that i dwelled on what i didnt have.. only to realize i was missing out on what i did have :) such a

2003-02-15T03:35:00.000-08:00

i woke up today and realised that i dont have a heart anymore. it was unholy to witness just moments after he said that; the sky clouded over and thunder rumbled, was it my imagination that it rained or did it really rain, just briefly.. all the bleakness of a threatening storm and not a trickle. even the heavens hold back sometimes. i had other things in mind to jot down for what seemed like

2003-02-14T01:45:00.000-08:00

with or without you my hair is wilting, i can barely breathe, my head is in constant pain and it is what day.. tiu. i detect the presence of phlegm (used to spell it as flem in primary school) and mucus among other things deteriorative to my body, cant help fearing the possibility of denggi or worse. sitting here with lethargy and ailment for company in my favourite cheap flowery bandeau given

2003-02-13T02:14:00.000-08:00

i want a husband who buys me I ♥ MY WIFE mug. for my birthday. i wouldnt know about valentines day though. edgy and hyped up. i had such a long energy consuming night. the nymph of the perverse felt playful and decided to taunt me with her dirty little mouth. i thought it had been mutually gratifying, but as always.. i was wrong. i wish i knew what went wrong. it had all went so well, worth the

2003-02-11T10:39:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday When your mother has grown older, When her dear, faithful eyes no longer see life as they once did When her feet, grown tired, No longer want to carry her as she walks - Then lend her your arm in support, Escort her with happy pleasure. The hour will come when, weeping, you Must accompany her on her final walk. And if she asks you something, Then give her an answer. And if she

2003-02-10T11:28:00.000-08:00

i am thoroughly amused. i; the most over used word in our vocabulary. upon searching for the actual meaning of rose-tinted glasses, i stumbled upon a religion related sex site. i havent read it yet, but perhaps those of you who are horny and in love would like to. just to determine the physicality of your relationship *rotflmao* before i go into why im amused.. a plug for swa. apparently fumble

2003-02-10T03:22:00.000-08:00

master debator vs. cunning linguist this artistic designer dude is infatuated with me. either that or hes dying for a plug, which i give to pretty much anyone who gives me an oral donation. lol. yes yes im overreacting to small acts of pity/kindness, its raining so heavily outside i cant see the outside, its just a blur of misty grey. abstinence and caution should be exercised in my bedroom,

2003-02-09T01:38:00.000-08:00

id·i·o·syn·cra·sies also known as foi·ble, or feeble, words go a long way from what they had originally meant to say. i woke up just before the storm, the heavy dark shaded clouds, strong wind whipping up torrential rain.. the tempest has ended. rays of sunlight now stream through my window in a heavenly manner. seems like someone is trying to reach out to me. i let the soft brightness shine on

2003-02-07T18:26:00.000-08:00

Big Yellow Taxi off and on, i get this frustrating writers block where by too many things of interest happen in the past 24 hours or so and i lose track of the juicy bits, forget the order of events and even how to say six in german. this is one of those times. i dont know why i dont sleep well when i come back here, dream after dream floods my unconsciousness.. or times id wake up and not be

2003-02-05T11:16:00.000-08:00

in the midst of all this festivities and relaxation, i have regrettably failed to get any work done and after reviewing what i have yet to do, the strength of procrastination is doubled and i tell myself, later, tomorrow, last minute-ism, whutever. this sucks. i cant say i didnt have enough time, on the contrary i had plenty of it to waste away while looking forward to the break and actually

2003-02-04T08:48:00.000-08:00

tien xia the movie was beautifully rich in culture, and me not knowing even something as simple as milan being in italy till today, found hero to be a nice portrayal of chinese origins and olden day contraptions. i had not expected it to be in mandarin, luckily the english subtitles proved sufficient, it wasnt the story nor martial arts that tickled my fancy.. nor the different colours which i

2003-02-03T22:27:00.000-08:00

i met some new people yesterday, a managing director of some sort of event company, a bartender from penangs lush (now what are the odds of that) and of course involuntarily met with a lot of old acquaintances as well. the day was mostly wasted away gambling, the environment was good since we were allowed to smoke while playing cards indoors and despite the lukewarm enthusiasm for betting or even

2003-02-02T12:33:00.000-08:00

a non-adjustable seatbelt fastened with a blue diaper safety pin. vlad envies me :) because an ignorant twat called me sick. he always makes the best out of everything, its impossible to figure out how he balances his dark alter ego with an utterly constant optimistic point of view. he makes me laugh things off, like a wet dog shaking off the water clinging to its fur.. doesnt dry immediately but

2003-02-01T03:13:00.000-08:00

its raining again, as it did yesterday.. the moment i stepped out of the sheltered building right thru the entire five hour journey to another state. constant pitter patter of rain drops and the lulling pessimistic literature of poe. A feeling, for which i have no name, has taken possession of my soul - a sensation which will admit of no analysis, to which the lessons of bygone time are